It has been waaay too long…I have been decluttering the house for the past….SIX weeks?! No, it can’t be THAT long…I am not done yet! Wait! I have to finish that first before I do anything else!…or do I?
It has been waaaay too long… I just KNEW it…but I kept putting the whole thing off…well, truth be told…a LOT of things have been put off for waaay too long.
Why do I always think things have to be perfect before I even try it…whatever the IT may be?
I got away from blogging for awhile.
I decided I have to do this a lot more often for me.
The reason? …I went to confession recently. I knew what was coming before the priest said it…
Do you remember that saying …do unto others…
gulp…of course…here we go….
as you would have them do unto you…
snagged….guilty as charged
don’t you think it is time that you did unto your self the good you are doing for others?
wha? Ok, I wasn’t expecting it to go this way….
Take time for yourself, mamma so that you can serve. Get your sleep! Take a walk ALONE if you must. Find time for just you and God.
that was a pleasant surprise…and I was berating myself interiorly all that week. My problem with serving was that I forgot to serve myself too. Why was I not feeling peace with all the hard work I was doing…even though the kids do undo a certain percent of that..(an accepted given)…surely I must be able to feel totally awesome at this point for what I am accomplishing….yeah, plenty of "I" and not enough of "I AM" …don’t you think so, Moses?
I felt like it was that admonition you hear on the airplane to put the mask over your own mouth before you place it on the child…the reason for this of course is that you can’t help them if you can’t breathe.
Then I began to realize other things that I was forgetting to do. Not big things like the bills…the little things that don’t amount to much, but matter to …someone…
so yes, I was putting off too much for too long…lots of little. Lots of little that we were missing. As a result…
I have sculpey under my fingernails…and I think it would have been nice if it was a more jazzy color because I think it will be under there forever.
There are tiny seed beads all over the dining room table…and in the carpet and under the secretary desk and in between the floorboards and those 3 cracks that run along the leaves in the table.
The toddler (who if you ask me, is growing waaay too fast than is comfortable to bear) has pasted her whole body with shiny glitter glue with a tiny paint brush. There are some shiny hearts, stars and moons in there….she thinks she is beautiful and prefers this to be the only garment worn..LOL…and oh yeah, she did this while sitting in the middle of said table, never missing an opportunity to share all she does in full view of everyone.
I woke up and realized that if I don’t make time to be messy, we will never do anything really fun. What was I going to do…just leave my perfectly organized art cabinet to grow dust…until "the RIGHT MOMENT"…maybe get ready for the grandchildren, perhaps?? I realized that my 2.5yo dd didn’t know how to roll out clay with a play rolling pin…that hit me right HERE…a pang of regret, perhaps?
Today I was so excited to find that my 4yo ds loved to create…I was almost more excited than he to find what was lurking in that mottled piece of clay and the tens of thousands of ways he could uncover that greatness. I found out that making snakes and using feathers and Popsicle sticks on said snake was a pretty good thing. And that just two googly eyes can open up a whole world to a little one. I found out that seed beads can make glorious fashions for so many people and are great for fine motor work for an almost 7 year-old…even if they are hard to clean up. But, the 8yo made a great invention of a bead-picker-upper with an old pair of stockings and the vacuum cleaner hose and made it all well…even if he didn’t finish the job…what did that matter? He made something brilliant and he felt it all the way to the tips of his happy toes.
What was that I said before??…live deliberately or you will deliberately forget to actually LIVE….
so I deliberately made a mess
or art, whichever you prefer
Was it an art in creating, or opening ourselves up to learning more about what we could actually accomplish or maybe an art in cooperative work….oh, what does it matter?…there are many arts and they have to start somewhere. You just have to do it sometimes. You just have to be willing to make a mess…a brilliant mess.
We were filled will expectation and celebration yesterday for our parish feast day. We participated in a wonderful mass and potluck supper so no dishes got done yesterday.
I decided…not today either…nope…except maybe for a quick dishwasher run. I figured that all the decluttering in the world will never make things perfect in this house and I have to be flexible enough to make a mess with the kids and let my hair down a little. As a wise mother of a friend of mine once said:
the dishes will always wait for you…the kids won’t…
AND I sit here …totally happy…observing that the children are so happy and are so at a contented peace that you can actually feel it in the air…I sit here with with sculpey under my fingernails…mostly that mottled color that happens when you mix every color you have into a little ball…sorta like that everything Easter egg dyed brown…I think it suits me…and my rug..and my dining room table and my dd’s hair.
Yes, it suits us just fine…*deep contented sigh*
…just fine ;o)
tomorrow is another day. I know what a washrag and a vacuum cleaner is and how to use it..no worries! Welcome to our home. The kids are fed and happy…and oh yes, the over-dirt is clean ;o)