Have you ever gone to confession and come out of church feeling like you just got a great haircut? I mean, all of that emotional baggage was just whisked away and left you with a deep sense of well-being and peace?
Well, God showed me today that He intends to do that for me in a different kind of way.
It all started last year when my 18mo dd played "Houdini" and snuck out of the house one bright Sunday afternoon…after her nap …and snuck past 6 guards and 2 locked doors and was promptly returned in an oh-so-NOT-nice way by a neighbor. We had no clue she had awoke from her nap. (How God has a sense of humor about making children smarter than their parents, I have no clue, but!)
What did happen….
we installed another lock on the back door and we assembled the masses to enlist help for erecting a huge fence to help ensure the continued enjoyment of our property, privacy and the safety of our little ones. The project was planned while snow was on the ground and saved up for as diligently as possible. This is hard work for a family that chooses to have a stay-at-home mom in a two income town.
Finally, we broke ground and began digging the holes. We purchased the lumber to make our own so it would be sturdier than the store-bought version. We cleared the property lines of any plants or rocks that had to be relocated.
Then "IT" happened.
IT was a big bill and here I was with the prospect of sending in the unexpected big bill AND the bill for the lumber we had already cut to the appropriate places….but there were only funds for one of them.
IT was the only thing I could do right now.
IT meant selling some of my favorite school resources to help defray the cost of the lumber.
IT only could wait a month.
So, here I am, spring-cleaning the shelves. In the process, I am spring-cleaning my cluttered heart. I am focusing on how to make our studies stick with limited resources. I am trying to keep in my heart the things that have actually worked over the last years and many levels of our homeschooling endeavor. I have learned a great deal from those resources, but it is time to let them go to someone else and let those things bless another homeschool. I have evolved. I have evolved in creativity that a stick or a sharpie marker or some random index cards can be manipulatives, centers or really wonderful learning activities.
I have to learn to make friends again with the library, that I oh-so-hate-to-go-to place because it doesn’t like me bringing things back late or with PB and J on them. Time to discipline my heart. Time to simplify. Time to make all the learning I have accumulated work for ME now….and work for the kids. Maintaining so many books has gotten in the way of living in a smaller space. I am keeping the really good Catholic books, the books that build character or whet the appetite for more. But much of the rest will have to go.
I might be
better at doing my job.
I might be
less cluttered in mind and heart
and more open to God’s Will in the school day
just like my school shelves.
Yep, it IS ….<<<OK>>> to let it GO. (See?! I just gave myself permission 😉
After all, they are JUST books.
If I need to visit them again, I can go and smile at the librarian.
..that "IT" that keeps happening to me….
what I call Intrinsic Trust…IT is essential in my line of work. IT forces its way into my line of thinking at the most (seemingly) inopportune times….or is it more opportune in God’s sight?
Confidentially, I am leaning on the art of loving and learning and less emphasis on the "stuff" that has its place in making that happen. Stuff can be good. I just can’t hug it too tight. I can use it while I got it, but the essential meaning of being a good teacher is more about learning WHO is in charge. Setting priorities. Evaluating. Tweaking. Searching for the answers everywhere and lately?…the less "stuff" the better. Lately, I just want to be more of a servant to the children and less of a slave to the stuff that I really thought I "had" to have around me.
I feel like I just got a haircut. And…I really like this hairdresser…When I look at all of this in the right light, I love the way it feels ;o)