Just some random thoughts….more on the Domestic Monastery…
I have a lot of great ideas…well planned wonderful fruitful things that always seem to get rained out by real life. I remember an actor once saying that he would not work with children and small animals because they would "steal the show". I know how he feels in a way. I realize that answering God’s call, often times allows me to use my creativity but I will not feel any peace unless it is part of God’s plan…no matter how perfect the "idea" might seem to me. Oftentimes, I hear of someone having a baby or being laid up and I want to bring over a dinner…and I burn it or the car won’t start. I want to mail out a gift to someone and I find it sitting for the THIRD time under the front seat of the car…and I want to crawl under a rock. I found an old bill I thought was paid and the sweet people never called me to tell me I never sent the money but politely sent a please remember to pay me bill…sheesh…Can ‘t I do any of these good deeds right? God is a patient soul!! So then I tend to think more of "I wonder what the Good God is thinking of me right now.
What would be the best way to steward my time
…do I own my own time??…
…do I have any talent anymore for anything….I am so very distracted I can’t remember!
Sometimes I think how good it is that God is All-knowing and can even work with a mishapen piece of clay like me…covered in old dry cheerios and dryer lint. …an imperfect art medium to be sure…
So I had this random thought one night…and it goes something like this….
Have you ever had a hard time with continually thinking of someone? Maybe there is a thought of someone from the past that you can’t seem to let go of? It happens to me all the time and used to bother me…but then I thought more of the whys of it and began to think that just MAYBE it was their guardian angel “pestering” me. Let me explain.
One night I woke up….
…and I thought of a young man from my past. We had grown up together for a few years and were pretty good friends. He went off to college and slowly disappeared from my life and probably never gave me a second thought but there are times I begin to wonder about him. I know he is married now and has children and a good job…somewhere. I know that I would never contact him in real life…but he is still sneaking into the corner of my thoughts at times. So I tried something. I prayed to God and asked Him why this “young” boy kept coming into my thoughts. I prayed that he was still a good guy and a good dad and a good worker. I prayed that he was active in his children’s lives and supported his spouse in every way and they were a good couple, a strong family and a good example to those around them, in their schools and workplaces…etc…and were good faithful Catholics. I basically just rambled on to God about whatever came into my brain at that EARLY hour of the A.M. I prayed the rosary for a little while and the thought just left my head…as quickly as it came …and I was suddenly sleepy.
Sometimes I wonder if God just needs to call “A Few Good Men” (or Mommies) to help Him out and make peoples paths a little straighter…the road a little smoother, the sunlight on them a little kinder. Those little acts of kindness in little moments are the kind of mission work that I can do when… having to drag myself out of bed to tend to a cry of need at night, …or…. while folding diapers …or… while scrubbing out the tub…all the while my toddler is cuddling her baby doll at my feet….and the 4 year old is jumping up and down singing a song reeeeallly LOUD …Or… while the family is at work or prayer or rest with their needs basically met….you know…while living my "hidden life". …Hey! I can do this!!
Hmm…I think mommies are called to be of service in the still, silent, unnoticed ways…missionaries in our own right…as God loves the small, the unnoticed and the seemingly insignificant to do some share of His Great Work. Maybe this kind of little prayer for others could just be another way of answering the call of the Monastery Bell.
So I arise and do my job…in the day and in the night…but with a prayer for someone else in my heart. That is something I can feel is an accomplishment…something I can actually finish…a sweet thought during my daily duties…but not for myself….for others.
Image:Danny Hahlbohm "Gift Of Love".